A Quest for reason

I’am here for a reason

I’m still unfound for a reason

I crave knowledge for a reason

I’m restless, anxious for a reason

I’m stubborn, misfit for a reason

I’m rude, headstrong for a reason

I hear a call from within for a reason

I am antisocial, solitary for a reason

I live between dreams and sleep for a reason

I have an itch for far-off places for a reason

I reason a lot for a reason

The fact that the reason is yet unknown

Must have a reason

Is your ‘dream’, your ‘purpose’?

There are several ways to lead a life. Most of us live to breathe and do whatever it takes to breathe comfortably. We fill our days with endless drudgery, closed doors, stuffed desks, reaching deadlines, or going past un-ending days. If we are lucky still, then we reach home to someone who might have filled our role, in our absence and we won’t have to go through the unfulfilling, non-gratifying yet laborious, and time-consuming duties of maintaining a household. While some of us are not that lucky, and hence burdened with that too.

A tiny minuscule though takes a different route. This small number engages in something more than the simple act of breathing. They have enough time to count their breath, take a deeper one, or else question rather than taking it for granted or worrying about its continual. They spend their days in search of something more than ways to breathe. They have either gone past those desks or broken the unending misery of the unending days and have rather chosen the days to be shorter. This number often talks about DREAMS.

Dreams are all over the fantasy world of movies. Confusingly, the English language gave the same term, to two different concepts. Dreams are something that you see only when you close your eyes, have no control over and when you are asleep. However, they also are the reason you wake up every day and are rather thought out with conscious mind. While our Lord, Brahma, Allah or YHWH wasn’t there to tell us why we were born or when the science failed too, the world brought about a fantasy to put some amount of hope to live with. An ideal to live and aspire for. Something which will make our days full and our nights long and blissful.

But is it so? And what if this becomes only the liberty of the privileged who don’t have time to worry about taking a breath comfortably? To dream of being a star, a cricketer, a successful entrepreneur, a world-traveler etc. Let’s go a bit deeper.

Dreams. ironically, are never our own, they come to us from what we ‘perceive’. The mind is like a big stomach that digests whatever happens in our daily life and blurts whichever part seems indigestible to it. This is what we see in our sleep, according to Freud (the repressive unconscious and subconscious). And what about the dream of waking life? Is it too not the same? A fragment of our imagination and an ideal made or loved by someone we look forward to and aspire to be our own? A role model that we often have in our dream? Someone that embodies our dream and makes it closer to reality.

Dreams are more often ‘wishes’. Something that we want and like. Now the thing with wishes is that they change as we age, as the world changes, the dreams change too. They expire, renew and even end if we are so keen on achieving it. It’s a road which is meant only for the destination and, for which the path, as everybody believes, has to be leaden with thorns and mud which is a rite of passage. But it’s the end which is beautiful, they say, so keep on walking.

So, here is what happens- either you achieve it, or you don’t dare to go there, or you went there and failed, or you realized it was somebody else’s dream. Now what?

If dreams were the reason you were born then you must die when it gets fulfilled. You are no longer needed on planet earth. So why live? And those who don’t go on that path how do they live? The answer is no, they don’t. They fill their lives with a parallel reality, and have a mock identity where they feel they are empowered or at least more successful or gratified but, are dead in the real world, dead inside. The torn-out drinkers, the sad old faces, the irritating souls that when you see you get angry, rather than feeling pity for them. The majority around us are like that, it’s easier to spot the ones who get old and are full of regrets.

So back to our point, is dream ‘the it’? should we rely on dreams for a fulfilled life?

Well, I got a parallel too (I borrowed it)! This one sounds more real though. This one is called PURPOSE, yes the one Oprah Winfrey often refers to. Something that emanates from within you and is an extension of your natural self and something that serves the world at large. I came across the real meaning of PURPOSE when I heard Oprah Winfrey interviewing the author Gary Zukav. He said,

“You are a personality that means you were born on a certain day and you will die on a certain day.. When the personality comes fully to serve the energy of its soul, that is authentic empowerment”

What Gary means is that your likes, dislikes, way to talk, passions (though also shaped by the environment) leans you in a certain direction and feeds your soul. That is the direction you were born to go into. As for all the animals in the food cycle, our role is also defined if we are so keen to understand that and to find that. It’s that role that makes us closer to what we truly are. Its what makes the great people great, because they harvested that power, and out came the purpose of their lives. It’s not something you saw or copied or literally dreamt, it’s something that comes from inside you, it’s the real you, the real self. And when you get in touch with your true self, your purpose is brought to light. Its this ship, that takes you on a journey and don’t worry about the destination because you don’t feel you are on a journey.

Another great thing about following your purpose, not dream, is that purpose is made by the higher laws of the universe. Yes, it wasn’t made or dreamt by you. Its serving the will of your maker, because you were born in a way to equip you to be able to serve well to a task or an action. You made no plans, it sometimes is thrust upon you. Its when often interviewed, movie actors say, ‘I never knew I was born for it. It just loved accounts and thought I would be an accountant, I never thought about acting’. But someone did, god did.

There are times when your purpose drives you in a way or at least informs you of its existence but you feel you are smarter and will carve a path on the wings of your dreams rather than succumbing to the will of the world. No matter how brave it may sound, you might end up loosing yourself and feel lost. You don’t realize its all in you. In your subtle passions, in your ‘zones’, in your natural abilities, your apparent personality.

So what would you choose dream or purpose??

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

Birthday in Quarantine: the introvert way

An evening before:

While the time was eager to run, my heart was still. I was sad, kind of hopeless. I was away from my parents who were sharing their lives through the threshold of their doors. 

Here, I lived amongst my new family the same way. So, there was little to cheer about. After all, birthdays are meant to be celebrated together with family and friends. But this time everything was ‘distanced’.

So, I thought maybe tomorrow would be an equally boring day. Nothing special. 

And something ringed inside me. I heard a whisper- ”I thought you were unique and wanted things a bit different than most of the people, isn’t that so?” 

And my mind answered back-” Well, why not. In Fact let me celebrate my birthday the introverted way”.

It was almost 2 hours for the clock to strike 12. So I switched open my notepad, jotted down a few things that I always hated (ok, disliked?) about birthdays and how I can spend this one, the opposite way!

My list went like this- 

sleep late (not rush for your birthday party)

Put on new but comforting clothes (not trendy chic, mostly uncomfortable types)

Spend time with your plants (not get stuck in the traffic)

Have a hearty talk with every caller who wished (not small talk as in, thank you, ciao)

Watch your favorite travel movies (rather than sit in a crowded café)

Have your favorite cuisines in a mouthful (not worry about others having had enough)

And the list went on….

The day began late, while I woke up with a lovely glow since I had snoozed a bit more in my cozy comforter. The day felt all mine. 

Oh, did I forget to tell you how I had cut my cake at midnight?

It was different too!

I pulled out the cake from the fridge, placed the candles, blew them, while my sweetheart stood at 6 feet watching me through the process. Not only that, I made sure I tasted every bite that I offered my family through a video call. I saw their eyes, I saw the endless love, the wishes, and the longing. 

I missed their hugs and kisses and warmth. But, the distance somehow added a bit more to all of it. The craving somehow grew the love inside our hearts so much so that it glowed through their eyes, their smiles, and their words clearly. And not to forget, I had a good share of the cake!

Back to the day of my birthday.

So, I took a break from the kitchen. My sweetheart pampered me throughout the meals with different cuisines. For breakfast, I had garlic breadsticks, mocha brownies, and a cup of hazelnut latte. Need I say more? I was blessed man! 

It was time for my plants. Little by little I went up to each one of them, talking, asking about their health, and checking whether they needed something. I smelled them, brushed by and took a leaf or two of my favorite herbs, and savored my mouth. And reveled in their lingering fragrances-basil, rosemary, lemongrass, mint. 

All this, while my well-wishers were lined up through calls. My phone surely had a busy day. But I poured my heart with everybody out there. From friends to relatives, to family, all of who were sad about the current state of affairs.

I gave them a laugh, had one too, they filled me with hope and I did too. Our hearts met, through voices alone.

Almost all my day passed in conversations- the deep ones I might add. 

It was time for a movie. That too in complete solitude. Browsing through the genre of travel, I realized I had almost exhausted this category. All through Netflix and Amazon Prime, I struggle to find one movie based in Europe that I hadn’t seen. 

And bam! I got one-In love with an Angel. 

An Italian movie, based in my dream destination-Rome. 

From the sweet and swaying Italian to the cobbled streets, the green-eyed Raoul Bova and the monument of Hadrian as a backdrop flew me all the way to Rome. (Who would want to choose an alley with countless heads and weary faces?)

Well, after my rendezvous with Italian charm, I had some chill in Rio de Janeiro too. Yup, in the comfort of my comforter again! While outside, the wind blew harder and the temperatures were low.

My love made sure to turn my room into a cozy green cafe, with soft yellow lights and my green children from the front yard. 

Together with a tray full of my favorite Chinese cuisine with that rolls. I savored all, with sips of red, while dancing to the tunes of Samba.

It was almost 12 and yes my special day had ended. But did I miss anything? Anyone?

No, I didn’t. Because I felt more closer to them than I ever was. This time there was no sham, no pretensions. The blessings were real and so was the love. 

Yes, it was different this time and some may say it’s hard. But hard times drive you closer, at least that’s what I learned. 

Do you agree? Let me know in the comments.

Would love to have you back!

Would love to have you back!

A Blind man opened my eyes

I don’t have a car.

I wish I could travel the world but I don’t have that much money.

I wish I could also have a flawless skin, oh and hair? A bit shinier and smoother.

And please can I have a Kylie Jenner in me? That’s it for now.

Aren’t we all like this?? Wanting one more and one more and cribbing about what god has given to others but not us? Greedy, yes that is what defines us.

Already late for my 8:30 bus, I ran when the clock stuck 8:23. I would have woken up early but bless god for my warm sleep, that I couldn’t. On the way I prayed, asking god to not let me miss my bus, just one more favour please, please. My footsteps matched my lips as I walked and ran. They could only rest when I finally reached before the bus could leave me. Looking up I winked at god thanking him for saving me yet again. Having a mischievous smile inside my heart which said, oh I think I would repeat that tomorrow.

While I was talking to my head and my heart (where god actually resides) I noticed someone walking past me. With slow steps he was treading the earth as if to find something. His long white stick was knocking the earth as if asking whether to turn left or right or walk straight ahead. While I immersed myself in his persona, I forgot to see the swarm of vehicles moving towards him. He was almost walking towards them and amongst them. Fear gripped me and I gripped him. Holding his arm, I tried to move him in another direction and walked him as far as I could go and set him free. After moving in that direction for a few meters, he lost direction again. While I ran again for him, another man near him, held him for me. At the same time, my bus arrived.

As I sat down, I felt an ache in my heart which soon reached my eyes. I had every thing, I was blessed. One of the things I deeply cherish is the grey clouds bursting with rain, the chirpy birds fighting on a branch of a tree, the orange yellow sun in the evening. And he would never experience that even if he could pray day and night for it. And I couldn’t even thank god this time, because I was ashamed of my profanities

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

Do you know the difference between Loneliness & Solitude?

 

They are synonymous to many.

Many who don’t know what difference lies betwixt them.

Not everyone is alone not everyone likes being alone.

I don’t know how people work in a cafe, alone, drinking coffee for hours, without a word to anybody

For Rohan, an extrovert social bug, sitting alone amounts to loneliness. It isn’t his problem, our culture doesn’t get it either. Indian culture gives little value for liberty or independence. We are always in groups, celebrating festivals, weddings or dinners. Many of us still live in joint families where you don’t get a single breath alone. People don’t get why some of us like opting out of social circles, for good.

Well, my father too usually frowned upon this idea. He believes to live fully is to be surrounded by people because that’s the only way to live. You should talk more, express more and be ever-present in front of a long line of relatives because that is our tradition.

But I beg to differ.

For some of us, being surrounding by endless chatter of no greater significance than passing time, is a sheer of waste of time itself. Its probably for those who don’t seek something in life. Or for some who like to chill out while gossiping about a certain relative’s daughter or his son’s financial whereabouts. Its not wrong, its just a matter of choice.

Everybody has been given a limited set of hours, some of us like to LISTEN while some of us like to SPEAK. There lies the difference. Difference between Solitude and loneliness is one between listening and speaking.

When you like thinking and introspecting you like SOLITUDE. More often than not it brings out the best in you. You end up creating something- a rhyme, a rhythm, a sketch or a great idea. Its like talking to your self. Meditating on your desires and wants and goals and beliefs. Be it on a bench in a park, in a cafe surrounded by warmth or in a house with all family members away. Its like striking a cord with your heart. Only when the world stops speaking, your heart begins to talk. And so you listen.

However, at times when you want to speak and don’t have somebody, you call it LONELINESS. You feel scared, depressed, seek desperate help, some words to reach your ear. In short, you need an outward help. You need a company. You feel like sharing your thoughts but have no one. Unlike solitude where you ENJOY your own company, here you would like a human or two to be there for you, with you.

Its too simple to understand and yet too difficult for many. People start pitying others for their sheer need of staying alone, calling them “weird”.

Well for those who still follow this idea, take it this way- there are two occasions on which you don’t eat a lip smacking cake that you come across in a cafe (which happens to be your favourite) :

its expensive for your pocket and you can’t buy it (that’s pity) or

You are already full in your stomach (it’s a choice).

Now did you understand the difference?

Would love to have you back!

Would love to have you back!

The diary entry of an ambitious soul albeit in a modern world

Messy! That’s what defines me. I mess up when I am cooking or when I am getting dressed. You can see my cupboard full of endless piles of clothes or you can see my life! An endless pile of tensions, sorrows, stresses, fears and what not. What for??

All of it because I always wanted to be different, creative, perfect, one of a kind, making a niche space for myself and for my name. I have no interest in relationships other than the closest and dearest souls whom I called my family. I don’t have an interest in taking part in festivities or gossiping about somebody else’s life. I feel I am here for a purpose, for a reason, and I need to go after that. More so, I feel I am wasting my life, my time, I am getting old and haven’t reached anywhere yet. I have stopped counting my years because that makes me realize how less a time, I am left with.

I have this craving of seeing the world, experiencing cultures, talking and knowing different languages. Befriending people of different cultures, being in a stimulating environment. Something closer to nature, closer to different kinds of people.

I am a dreamer, I dream, I think, I write, that’s what I LOVE. But alas, I live in a real world, it requires survival, it requires money. I fear that this survival might just take over my dream. I feel I am lost chasing a dream that might erase in a puff of smoke from the pipe of a wealthy businessman.

I am here, sitting on my chair, not even a cubicle! In front of a computer, doing things I don’t feel satiated in, but I am. Locked in a space with no windows, or at least those that are covered with paper. I missed the rain yesterday, and that’s a huge miss! I didn’t even know what happened to the clouds while I was busy watching my screen changing colors.

Am I lost?? Or is it just because I am messy? Messy in a world where you need to pay for everything clean? So either earn or stay a mess. I would rather choose the latter because it was chaos from which the world was thus created.

All I hope is that I don’t die in this mess, I make my own space. A space filled with experiences, and story’s and fulfillment, a grave with a happy soul.

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

Love and Loss: the story of an Indian bride-to-be

What were they thinking? Our ancestors? Where they trying to make life interesting in some way? Why marriage? Were women folk involved in this decision? Why did our culture create such a turning point in a girl’s life where she has to undo all that she had learned throughout her childhood, teenage and adulthood, and start all over again?

I am sure they weren’t involved. For only women know the fear, the anxiety, the loss, the pain, the anguish of leaving a part of their soul behind while trying to adorn a new space, family and a surname. The loss of her paternal last name is a sheer reflection of the loss of one part of the self she is made of.

She has to begin anew, afresh.

Did you say she must be happy because she is marrying someone she loves? Well, for loving one, she has to leave behind many she had been loving since she opened her eyes to the world. What about that? The very bed she sleeps on, the very sun she is accustomed to, in her window? The very moon who bids her goodnight, every night? The very birds who wake her up every morn? What about them? Will they come to her new house? Will they shine and soothe and call her ever still?

Well, well, she would be blamed the same. She was a pompous bitch they will say. She is too learned to unlearn the world. She has her aspirations too high to live with the one she claimed to love. For it was she who had chosen him.

Well yes, she did, but not his house, his beings, his ways. Love is a passion enslaved by the heart. What could she have done? She but loved him and him truly.

But here comes the house between them. Come and live in here with me he says, leave everything you ever had behind. And mind you! Leave your last name too, for your owner is now anew, for you shall marry me and marriage is what it is.

For men need to die to reincarnate, a woman need only marry

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

Shhhhh….Listen…It speaks

Sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone’s asleep you just feel like crying, for no reason! Its just that you are confused about something that’s bothering you and while everyone sleeps you feel you have no one to take you out of that situation and you talk (rather cry) yourself to sleep. Well on the contrary there are times when, after everyone is asleep you feel liberated. As if the world is yours and now you begin to hear what your heart was telling you since morning.

Almost every one of us repeats this dialogue whenever depressed- We were born alone and we die alone! Have we ever bothered to wonder why god took such a decision? Not every one of us is as brave as the other. Some are too afraid even with a pinch of darkness, animals, height, water, strangers and what not? Then how can we come alone?

Well, no matter how much we try to burden others with ‘our responsibility’, we by default are given the power to heal ourselves. Nothing works better than talking to yourself, listening to yourself, spending time with yourself. Is this sounding strange? Let me illustrate. In school times whenever we used to take tuition and assume we have understood, we however didn’t, until we used to spend time again on teaching our own self what the tutor taught us. After a breakup when you are sympathized by your friend who tries to calm you, you feel halfheartedly happy. You only feel fully relieved when you cry to yourself and make yourself believe what your friend told you. Many a times you might have ignored a pimple on your cheek for days and then you saw it getting healed all by itself. You might as well believe you are weak but as soon as someone hurts your ego, you are on your feet and brave enough. Why? Because you yourself can make or break you. You already have two selves within you. One who functions externally and the one who functions internally.

Howsoever might your parents, lover, grandparents, friends tell you- “Hey, I know you better than you know yourself” Well it’s a Bollywood lie that’s it. Nobody knows you better than yourself. You know things but you are not brave enough to listen to yourself and rather you give the torch to your parent, friend or lover to light it for you. And then you are all spilled on them-“Oh it is because of you that I am saved, oh thank god you were there”; rather than giving yourself the credit!

This calls for another question. Why are people so depressed? Because they are confused, they have problems and seek answers from people who in turn confuse them with “their own” point of view. So it means that you try to solve “your” problem with “their solution”. And you only end up in victory when their solution was same as what you had thought but never admitted. Otherwise you miserably fail.

Why is it that we hate ourselves and love all others? We don’t trust our self. The reality however is that we find maximum peace with our own self. We might stand in a crowd and feel alone and sit alone and feel content. There might be times when you meet a person who is confident, happy, mutli-talented and charming. And then when you compare him/her to yourself you feel like a complete zero. Is he/she more blessed then you are? or more talented? Or lucky? Of course not. It’s because these are the most intelligent people. Why? Because they don’t lie to themselves. These people have a wholesomeness in their being. Their external and internal being has a close proximity if not unity. They listen to “themselves”, confidence is their highest power which upholds their sense of self more than someone else’s. You try hard to make them look down upon themselves and within that quagmire too, they stand bold. They just know themselves. That’s all that matters. Not the world because they are too Unstable to be stable! Their notions are never written down and inked, they are always in the air governed by the heat and the cold of the ambiance. They don’t waste their sense of self for such a feeble notion as “what others might think of me”. They are just true to themselves and that is the very sea that springs them up with confidence.

So…..just listen, it speaks. Your soul, inner voice, gut, conscience, god, or whatsoever your belief lies in..Just listen, it speaks, let him speak and shut up the others. You would wake up to your new self and would relish that voice more than anyone else’s. Because it’s none else than you. The great poet Kahlil Gibran has realized it too when he said:

No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge”

Trust yourself, Love yourself, Listen to yourself

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

A trek taught me this

Ever since I started reading, I have been growing up in fairy tales. When I grew older, I started framing my own tales of fairy lands. Fairy tales filled with adventures, magical creatures with a loved to whom you can talk all your heart out, because nature leaves you so pure. I thought I could make one true for myself, so I tried.

The trek promised lush green valleys, breathtaking views in pure solitude, exactly what I had wished for. I was excited, thrilled of being able to be a part of nature’s beauty along with a friend of mine who shared my adrenaline rush. And so, it began.

At 9,000 feet into the Himalayas, the heaven didn’t seem far away. All I could hear was crows singing in the rain with little chirps of tiny birds here and there. All accompanied by drizzling rain, adding in the romance of walking in the woods.

I walked and walked, soaking all in, breathless due to the steep trail but reminding myself why I came. I enjoyed the solitude gushing in from the excitement of ‘what next’.

At 12,000 feet my stamina gave in and I craved, not only for oxygen but for company. Trained as my friend was, she had her feet far ahead in the hiking group. Falling behind, I realized how eager and dependent I was for company. A gush of sorrow ran in. My fairy tale had green valleys, beautiful white horses, creamy woolly sheep but I never knew a deep conversation with someone was integral to it. The nature marvelled my senses but at the same time brought an urge to share my happiness. Where I thought nature would be my sole companion (because I was proud of my friend’s independence), I had misunderstood myself.

Wild mules became the most visibly alive part of the landscape

All was in place, but no one to hear my shallow breath while I was solely pushing myself forward. The valleys had laid themselves bear before me, but I didn’t have the time to sit and soak them in, for I had to walk and walk to pace up with 23 others that were before me.

At 14,000 feet I completed the summit, all the others were in ecstasy, but me. I had pushed myself to a place I could never have been, but I couldn’t feel any emotion other than pride. The pride stemmed out of walking drenched, fatigued, out of breath, broken and all alone, just to complete what I had started.

A breath taking view from the summit point

Yes, I realized this isn’t me. I need the valleys not to walk past, but to sit and marvel at their magnanimity and invincibility. I need time to be in the nature, but I need some one to share my thoughts while I feel them.

I realized I am not a lone ranger as I thought I would be, I am just a simple human who wants to be close to nature to love it, not to conquer it. Some one who needs quality time alone but craves a living soul nevertheless. One who seems fearless but is actually full of fear.

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

Sometimes I am more human..

Sometimes I feel like dancing, or crying, or laughing, or angry, or rebellious, or ambitious, or passionate, without any reason. Thankfully not one of these emotions lasts for long, while some other emotion comes toppling the previous one down. I feel too much human, too full of emotions.


Sometimes, I feel brave to do things and cry afterward. Sometimes, I feel I am here for a good reason, rather a great one. To lead an extraordinary life. For I will do something great one day and make people realize my worth. Those who scorn me, talk behind my back would come and look and get amazed seeing something different in something they have been long accustomed to look at.


Sometimes, I just feel null, a total zero. So low as if I would want a Godly man to hide me in his arms and ask nothing, just keep on repeating

I am here to stay

Sometimes, it feels so negative as if I will be alone in life and have only me by my side. While sometimes I feel brave enough to feel its better to live alone, travel the world and sleep beneath the stars. At other times, I want someone to count the stars with me.


Sometimes, life feels complete and no other happiness is required. At other times the same situation feels ordinary and every day. Someone who is with you when you least expected him to be, is away when you were sure of his presence beside you.


Sometimes, you are passionate and want to rule the world and dump all those who didn’t believe in yo. But, sometimes you see yourself as a leaf on which many different footprints are visible.


Sometimes and most of the times, You feel alien and a misfit in this crowded world and realize you have nobody but yourself at your disposal. Sometimes it is a sad thought and at other times it makes you brave…

Would love to have you back!


Would love to have you back

A spirit named God

“Religion is the opium of the people”

-Karl Marx

This statement is an ultimate truth for the world drenched in the medication called religion.

Since childhood, I have been visiting places with my parents, where I could never connect to. It is some kind of a hermitage (an ashram precisely). People in large amounts would be present, walking like herds as if towards a confirmed salvation. I had been going to different ones belonging to the same Guru as my parents call them. I would always feel drowsy while attending those and viewed them all as picnic spots till I grew up.

As I came to my senses and could fathom tentative meaning of the world, I protested. Significant amount of bruises where the outcome of not conforming to a belief I never had faith in. After incessant fights my stubborn, adamant self, won. I was blown out as an atheist.

I call myself spiritual. I believe in the religion of humanity. I raise my hands in prayer in front of a church, a mosque, a temple, a gurudwara. Precisely not because in these places resides God. It is so because inside the tranquil spaces one can easily hear ones conscience which for me is my God.

God isn’t a force to be divided into sects and fought upon. For me it dwells inside the very voice that talks to you while nobody cares to do these days. I talk to him every night, I share my day with him. He illuminates ways for me through omens, through vibes through an angel inside. One doesn’t need a coconut, a wine, a chaadar or prasaad to worship. There is an easier and profound way of conversing via heart which is economical and safe.

When I saw Pk by Rajkumar Hirani i was amazed at the kind of bravado that he showcased by releasing his ideology worldwide. More so being a resident of a country who is constantly at war because of one religion or the other. When I tried to fight on a personal level with two reluctant fundamentalists they went hostile. That day I realized what a voluptuous entity religion is. However this film PK comes as an eye opener for the religious fundamentalists who made religion but a trade. Pk’s act of not able to decipher what kind of “fee” which God would prefer for the fulfillment of his wish is a significant one. If we go deep into mythology which generated these religion, no God or Guru ever attained the divine light through a fee. It is never said that such and such guru offered this sum, this stuff or that property in order to attain his wish.

The only one way preached through them all is meditation. A way to have a conversation with God via your heart and soul as a medium. No church, no mosque, no temple was laid as a destination by them to attain divinity. These are merely the places they lived in, that today we mark as holy places. It is ironical how we adore their house, their bed, their footprints as holy and not their beliefs. It pains to see how humans loath humans for religion. How one scorns the other, kills or rejects the other because of adhering apparently to a way to attain his God.

Nobody knows whose God is the supreme one. Every religion says God is one and still they preach several Gods according to their wish. They feel their religion is right and their God is “the God”. Little do they realize that paths may differ but a destination never loses its identity. They may preach different Gods because of different language but should realize them all as the same. Christ, Guru Nanak, Shiva, allah as the same. They kill innocents and mark it as a religious war where this violence is allowed because their lord is in danger.

Sixteen years of war in Germany between Protestants and Catholics, the Holocaust between Catholics and Jews, Indo-Pak divide between Hinduism and Islam are ironically wars for preserving one’s belief and thereby protecting ‘their’ God. 

This governs terrorism which is predominantly known to uphold one kind of religious sect. It is nothing but the fear of being a minority which ones held great power. Their religious fears over their ideologies, their god is what today has taken the ugly shape of terrorism. This terrorism has its roots in religion. Fighting for their identity of God as the real one, forgetting what he said about humanity.

It is not uncommon for people around us to lead us into some kind of herd preaching the kind of God in vogue. It is for us to decide whom to follow the crowd outside or the tranquility within. Wars will vanish if some day people believed in their conscience, their inner angel named God.

“My conscience is captive to the word of God”

-Martin Luther King

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Would love to have you back

Unchained relationships

Friendship is a word that defines relationships. Its constituents are understanding, trust and accepting the other as an individual. If a relation lacks this recipe and rejects the idea of friendship as its base, then it collapses. You live carefree in friendship, happy and autonomous. That’s because you are not yet chained. If you enter a relation and still be carefree and happy that means you have excelled the phenomena of friendship as a tool for a healthy relationship.

This friendship model has the third constituent as its supreme goal. Giving the other person the space and be aware of his ‘otherness’. This is the major reason of failure in successful relationships.
In a child-parent relationship the parent often forgets that.

He believes what he does and had done and has been doing is always right for his son too. The very idea of his son being the ‘other’ individual doesn’t belong to him. This disbelief often turns the child against the parent. Not being able to understand him as a person though small but in flesh and blood.

The lack of space leads to suffocation in a relationship that drives the two individual away. This need for space increases the distance between the parent and the child.

Same happens in a man-women relationship. If a man repeatedly pokes a finger in every act of the women’s life, the two fall apart. No matter how you may love the other one but she is actually the ‘other’ one. She has her likes and dislikes, her beliefs and disbeliefs.

The space which we believe is an area where there exists no gravitational force. One floats there. The same feeling is derived when we understand the need and importance of this space. It leaves us ecstatic. A happy man can never be the reason of someone’s sorrow. Also a fertile soil nourishes every plant grown over it. The same happens with people who live this space in them. They are full of fertility, they never go barren. They breed happiness as naturally as vegetation.

Compare this to the feeling one might encounter in a bus loaded with people. You may repeatedly stand on your heels to breathe. This happens when people enter into your space calling it ‘ours’. There is no our space. Everyone needs their own. Try sowing two seeds closely with each other. After a few days you will see both dead. It’s because they shared what was supposed to be distinct for both. If one tries to overpower your space it leads to claustrophobia. This finally strangulates the relationship you are in. Be it a child-parent or man-women relation. You feel an encroachment upon your path, a hindrance to your growth.

This abstract idea is one of the major causes of breaking up relationship of all kind. Taking a person you love as an individual and not becoming his/her owner. Nobody owns anyone. God owns us all.

As Jean Jacques Rousseau says-
“Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains

These chains are hindrance to a growth be it of an animal or an individual. Relations should never live in cages and chains, the only result will be a rotten stink due to its death.